


Spectrum

by foxxcub



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, M/M, concussed ducks in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 11:20:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxxcub/pseuds/foxxcub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili asks Fili for a lesson in kissing. Things don't go quite as either one of them planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spectrum

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic out by hand while on vacation in Key West, Florida. IDK, I guess the beach makes me write first-time sexy dwarf kissing? Don't judge me.
> 
> Thanks to [Lynn](http://archiveofourown.org/users/themoononastick/pseuds/themoononastick) for the beta work. <3

“But I’m going to need to learn someday!”

Fili sighed. “Doesn’t that bow of yours deserve more attention?”

“My bow will not help me with a maiden,” Kili pouted, perching himself on the edge of the table where Fili was carefully sharpening his knife with a whetstone. Uncle Thorin had given him the knife as a gift some weeks before, along with detailed instructions on how to keep the blade in fighting condition. The hilt was thick, engraved with intricate spirals that spun out along the sides like delicate fingers. It was the first real weapon Fili could call his own, and he treasured it more than gold.

He knew Kili was jealous. His bow, while regal in its own right, was rather dull in comparison. Also, there was the fact that Fili’s attention had been devoted to the knife for days now, which was the only explanation for why Kili insisted on pestering him that morning for kissing lessons.

 _Kissing_ of all things.

“You’ve many years before you need to start worrying about maidens,” Fili said without looking up from his work.

“Don’t use that tone with me,” Kili groused. “Stop pretending to be Uncle Thorin.”

“Uncle Thorin would say the same and you know it.”

“No, he would say it’s _your_ duty to inform me of such things.”

Fili rolled his eyes. “I’ve better things to do with my time than teach you the proper ways to kiss,” he said, pointedly dragging the whetstone over his blade.

That earned him a hard shove. “Oh, come off it!” Kili cried. “You have spent the last few weeks acting as if that blade has given you an immediate seat on the throne at Erebor! But you’re not a king yet, you’re just my brother who has decided he’s too high and mighty for the likes of me.” There was a tight sound of hurt in Kili’s voice, and that made a sudden ache open up in Fili’s chest. He did so hate hurting Kili’s feelings.

Fili set the knife aside and looked up into his brother’s eyes. Contritely, he replied, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Kili blinked in surprise before a brilliant, dimpled grin burst across his face. “It’s all right,” he said, hopping off the table to sit beside Fili, legs straddling the stone bench and his knee nudged against Fili’s thigh. “I would probably ignore me, too, if Uncle gave me such a grand gift.” His tone was wistful.

“You’ll get your own gift soon. That bow can’t last forever.” Fili reached up and ruffled Kili’s unruly hair. There was one tiny, thin braid at his temple, unraveling and messy. Fili had braided it ages ago, and Kili had yet to take it apart, which was often how these things went. He would let whatever small braid Fili would make for him last until it completely fell into ruin, causing Fili to eventually manhandle him into a sitting position and redo the braid completely.

Now, Kili pushed into Fili’s touch like a contented cat. “Perhaps,” he replied, “although I think Uncle does not know what to make of me yet. The line of Durin doesn’t tend to have an affinity for archery, you know.”

Fili snorted. “So you’ll be the first. Maybe they’ll write songs about the Great Dwarf Archer, descended from Thorin Oakenshield himself.”

Kili rolled his eyes, but he blushed nonetheless. “I hope you will not be singing these songs. I should not want my supposed greatness defiled by your tone-deafness.”

He could not let such a comment go by unnoticed. Fili promptly grabbed his brother by the neck and attempted to force him into a headlock. But as expected, Kili knew the attack was coming, and he quickly ducked out of Fili’s hold. He had grown stronger over the last year or so, and Fili was not all that surprised to suddenly find himself tumbling off the bench and onto the ground with Kili’s hands pining him down.

“Ugh, you’re like a boulder,” Fili huffed, tugging half-heartedly against Kili’s hold.

Kili grinned proudly. “Soon I’ll be the taller one and you won’t stand a chance.”

“You only wish,” Fili said, taking advantage of Kili’s smugness and flipping them over. Once he had a decent grip on Kili’s wrists and knew he wasn’t going to fight back, Fili added, exasperated, “Now, would you like to learn the proper kissing techniques or not?”

“Maybe I no longer want to kiss you,” Kili pouted, ever the sore loser.

“I never said you wanted to kiss _me_.” Strange, though, how saying the words out loud made Fili’s skin grow warm. “I thought you had some maiden you wished to woo.”

Kili wrinkled his nose. “There’s no maiden, I only—“ He looked away, oddly shy. “I want to know how to do it, that’s all. I’m old enough now, there’s no excuse for me not to—to be educated in such things.”

Fili released Kili’s wrists and sat back on his heels. “Truth be told, it’s not a task to be taught,” he replied slowly. “You simply…do it, and then go from there.”

“But no one wants to kiss me,” Kili said in a miserable voice. “I’m not lovely like you, I didn’t inherit our mother’s beauty and charm.”

Immediately, Fili felt the urge to contradict him, for he’d seen the way some of the women in town—dwarf and human alike—had looked at Kili since he’d gradually begun to broaden and fill out. He was still just a boy, but dwarves his age had been known to find their mates. Kili may not have had a beard yet, and his features were fine and delicate, but Fili was hardly the lovelier one.

“You are young still,” he said, unwilling to tell his brother of the interested looks. “You’ll get your kiss one day.”

“What if I’m terrible at it?”

“You won’t be.”

“I could. I don’t even know what to do with my tongue.”

“Tongue isn’t always necessary.”

“Bofur said it can last for hours. How am I supposed to endure _that_?”

“You know better that to listen to Bofur,” Fili said with a laugh, but Kili’s expression was quite serious.

“Please, Fili, just show me. I promise I won’t ask again.”

Unfortunately, Fili could never deny Kili anything when he said _please_. He sighed heavily and crawled off Kili, sitting beside him so that their shoulders touched.

In truth, Fili had not kissed as many people as Kili seemed to think. There had been a handful here and there, but mostly he liked to tell Kili about his exploits just to make him jealous.

It was something Fili did not let himself think on too carefully; he rationalised that all older brothers liked to seem worldly in their younger siblings’ eyes.

“There are two ways to kiss,” Fili said, ignoring the way Kili’s eyes went a bit dark as he leaned in closer. “Either you initiate the kiss, or vice versa.”

Kili nodded gravely and squared his shoulders. “How will I know if I am not initiating?”

“More than likely the other person will touch you like this.” Fili cupped his hand gently over Kili’s cheek, his thumb skimming over Kili’s chin and the soft dusting of Kili’s dwarfling beard. Kili blinked once, and Fili thought he heard the cadence of his breathing stutter.

“And then?” Kili asked.

“Then…” Fili took a deep breath. He could not remember Kili’s mouth looking so pink and full before now. “Then they will either pull you close or move closer to you.”

Kili’s throat bobbed. “I shall hold quite still regardless,” he said, and his voice was low, rougher than Fili was used to hearing.

“Yes, that’s probably a good idea,” Fili replied. He swept his thumb higher, over the slick-shiny plushness of Kili’s lower lip. Kili kept his word and stayed utterly still as stone.

“Should I close my eyes?” he asked.

“If you like. It can be awkward if you leave them open.”

“But I’d like to see their eyes.”

Fili’s mouth suddenly grew wet. “Their eyes will be closed as well,” he whispered, fingers sinking into Kili’s hair as he tilted his head.

Kili’s lips were not parted when Fili’s mouth touched his, and with a start Fili realised he was disappointed. Without thinking, he nudged the tip of his tongue against the seam of Kili’s lips; the tiny gasp he earned made Fili’s heart beat faster.

He meant to draw back, explain to Kili the different angles and paces for a good kiss, but all that seemed to vanish from his mind in the wake of Kili going pliant and soft, pressing into Fili as if he were melting. His mouth opened further when Fili licked over his teeth, and soon Kili’s hand fell against Fili’s chest, right over his rapidly hammering heart, fingertips tightening in the material of Fili’s tunic.

“Is it all right to touch you—them—like this?” The kiss had not lasted long, yet Kili already sounded breathless.

“Yes,” Fili said, feeling strangely dizzy. “In fact, you _should_ touch them, let them know you are enjoying it.”

Tentatively, Kili slid a hand up the edge of Fili’s jaw. He sat back, seemingly enthralled with the sight of his fingers tracing the line of Fili’s beard and neck. He kept licking his bottom lip over and over, eyes flicking back and forth from his hand to Fili’s mouth.

“I think I enjoy kissing very much,” Kili whispered, a hint of a smile ghosting across his face.

Fili wasn’t sure why this made him tug Kili back to bite at his swollen lips. The quiet whimper Kili let out was disturbingly lovely, and Fili wanted to hear it again.

He was hazily contemplating the various ways their lesson could continue, when he heard their mother call for them for supper. They parted quickly, but not before Kili butted his nose up against Fili’s cheek and sighed.

“I hope it is not always like that,” he said, giving Fili a sloe-eyed look and a lazy grin. “I fear this could become addictive.”

Fili shook his head. It was difficult to think of anything but Kili’s taste. “Everyone is different,” he replied.

Kili’s grin broadened. “Do you think I am worthy now of trying it on my own?”

Fili’s stomach dipped sharply. “I suppose.” He did not look at Kili.

Dis called for them again, and this time Kili hopped up from the ground and held his hand out.

“Don’t forget your blade,” he said with a laugh as he pulled Fili to his feet.

Fili had not thought about his knife since the kissing had begun. “Of course not,” he replied, gathering up the blade and whetstone.

“I’ll tell Mother we’re on our way.” Then Kili tugged playfully at Fili’s beard and added, “You’re the best teacher, brother. Thank you.”

“Like you said, it is my duty to educate you about such matters.” He took in the pink tint in Kili’s cheeks and smiled in spite of himself.

“Naturally,” Kili drawled, winking as he took off for the house.

For several long moments, Fili stood at the table with his precious knife clutched in his hand, wondering if Kili would be so…sensitive the next time someone offered him a kiss.

“That’s none of your concern,” he muttered out loud, and eventually he headed home.

 

///

 

Kili closed his eyes, listening to the way the dwarf maiden’s sigh drifted light and soft through the night air. She was quite lovely, and they had been exchanging kisses for the past hour. He’d heard his name whispered, usually following a gentle nip at her neck or ear. For all intents and purposes, the kissing had been exemplary. 

Yet Kili could not seem to make himself feel anything other than bored.

The maiden, Nali, sat back and smiled at Kili, her hand caressing his cheek. “Why so quiet this evening?” she asked.

Kili laughed. “I should think my mouth has had plenty to occupy itself with besides words.” He touched the golden braids framing her face. They were not as thick as Fili’s, nor were they shot through with strands of bright, sunshine yellow.

He bit his lip. Now was not the time to be thinking of _Fili_ , for goodness’ sake. Not that it was uncommon—Kili often found his thoughts straying to his brother whenever a situation failed to keep his interest.

...Perhaps he should have thought twice before allowing Nali to kiss him for so long.

“I, ah, just remembered that my uncle is expecting me,” Kili said as he neatly extracted himself from Nali’s embrace. “My apologies, I completely forgot! It’s quite important.”

Nali pouted at him. “But it’s late, Kili, surely your uncle understands that you simply cannot—”

“I’m sorry, he hates to wait,” Kili interrupted, already taking awkward, hurried steps away from her and toward the path for home.

“Can I see you tomorrow evening, then?” she called after him.

Kili pretended not to hear her.

 

///

 

“I think there is something wrong with me.”

Fili looked up from where he sat attempting to mend a broken lace on his favorite boots. “What do you mean, ‘wrong’? What’s happened?”

Kili shut the door to their room and collapsed dejectedly on the bed opposite Fili’s. “It’s been three years. I should be an expert by now.”

“An expert at what?”

“Kissing!” he cried out in dismay.

Very slowly, Fili set his boot aside, eyes narrowed. “Are we back to this again? What about that maid Nali? She seemed to truly fancy you.”

“She does,” Kili moaned, “but I cannot seem to—to—”

Fili folded his arms over his knees, looking contemplative, his brow knitted together in thought. “You don’t like kissing Nali?” he eventually asked.

“I should, yes? She is beautiful and kind and likes kissing _me_ —something isn’t right, Fili, I know it. This isn’t the first time this has occurred, either.”

Fili appeared genuinely startled. “You’re certain?”

Kili nodded. “It’s never been like—I keep waiting for the, the dizziness to come, that flutter in my belly whenever someone opens their mouth to let me inside. That moment never comes.”

“You’ve had many kisses, though,” Fili replied in an oddly tight voice.

“I have. Which is why I know I’m doing something wrong. I should have felt that falling sensation by now.”

“Falling sensation?” Fili’s cheeks went a bit pink.

Instantly, Kili was embarrassed. Maybe Fili did not want to hear him prattle on about how their “teaching” kiss had somehow ruined Kili for all future kissing endeavors. “I apologise,” he said. “I know you are sick of me going on about this, but—”

“No, it’s all right. I didn’t realise you were...having difficulties.” Fili ducked his head in an uncharacteristic display of shyness. “I had assumed you’d made quite a practice of your, ah, newfound skills since we last discussed this.”

Kili thought of Nali’s golden hair, and of the maiden before her of the same shade, and also the half dozen or so dwarves before that who were all blond and dimpled and laughed at Kili’s ridiculous jokes—

“I think I should try kissing someone who isn’t exactly like you!” Kili said as an epiphany suddenly dawned on him.

Fili frowned. “I’m not a maiden, Kili.”

“Of course you’re not, but Nali is—she smiles like you and talks like you, even her walk is like yours. I simply need to find a mate who doesn’t constantly remind me of—well, you.”

For some reason, Fili’s frown deepened. “So now you’re speaking of mates. No wonder you do not want to be reminded of me.” He sounded angry, and if Kili was not mistaken, hurt.

Now Kili was terribly confused. “I misspoke,” he said. “I don’t want a mate at the moment, but I _would_ like to be able to kiss someone.”

“It’s never been a problem for me,” Fili replied darkly.

It was Kili’s turn to glower, for he hated being reminded of Fili’s conquests. It only served to make Kili feel somewhat lacking. “That’s it, then? I’m to just accept that I’ll never enjoy kissing again?”

Fili had turned his morose mood on his boot laces. “I suppose you could try kissing me again, if it’s not too traumatic for you,” he grumbled.

“What good will that do?”

“If you don’t like kissing me, then your theory that I’m somehow to blame for your problem will be false. If you do like it...” Fili trailed off, looking back down at his boots.

“Then what?” Kili asked.

Fili shrugged and did not reply.

It wasn’t the solution Kili had imagined. It had been over three years since he’d asked Fili to teach him to kiss, but in dwarf years that was hardly any time at all. It was bad enough that Kili could not help but think of Fili at the most inappropriate moments—and if Kili were being honest with himself, he’d admit those moments were steadily growing in number, and were not limited to Kili’s attempted romantic trysts.

“If you’re certain...” Kili moved over to Fili’s bed, where he sat down beside him with their knees touching. Fili still did not look up, only focused more intently on his laces, which did not seem to be any closer to being mended.

“Far be it for me to hinder you from pursuing your future mate,” Fili said.

 _It isn’t your fault, it’s mine_ , Kili thought. He pictured the moment when Fili first cupped his hand over Kili’s neck and drew him in; Kili had been instantly overwhelmed with a storm of unfamiliar emotions that tied his stomach into knots and caused his blood to rush frantically through his veins. 

Strange how Nali and the others had not caused such reactions in him.

“Don’t be angry with me,” Kili whispered as he leaned in and pushed the tip of his nose against Fili’s temple.

“I’m not angry.” Fili sighed, shoulders slumping. “You have not asked me for anything since that evening.”

“Yes, I have, I—”

“No, you haven’t. I did not think it bothered me so, but with you here, now, I realise that—that I miss you coming to me. I miss teaching you things, even though I suppose you’re too old now to need me.”

A lump, hard as stone, lodged itself in Kili’s throat. “I will always need you,” he said, grabbing Fili’s hand and lacing their fingers together tightly. _Finally_ , his brother met his eyes.

“I never did show you the proper way to initiate a kiss,” said Fili. The tops of his cheeks were still quite pink, Kili noticed.

“True, but there is no need for that now.” Kili swiped his tongue over his lower lip, and to his surprise and pleasure, Fili made a small strangled noise. It emboldened Kili; he felt oddly powerful as he closed the distance between them. His mouth brushed over Fili’s once, twice, and then, at last, there was a deep, heady heat flaring in his stomach, a surge of want stuttering in his heart.

This was what Kili had been missing all this time. This was what he’d mistakenly believed he could no longer feel. His eyes began to flutter shut, but Kili thought, _No, I want to see him_ , and forced them open again.

Fili’s own eyes were closed. Kili could see the way his golden lashes fanned out against his blush as his mouth parted easily for Kili, soft and full and _warm_. Kili felt his brother’s weight against him, as if Fili were swooning just a little. Such a ridiculous thought should have made Kili laugh, yet he groaned instead, low and rough, digging one hand into Fili’s tunic. Vaguely he was aware of his cock beginning to fill, and there was an urge at the back of his mind to find friction, to straddle Fili’s thigh and rub into him until—

He heard Fili breathe his name. Kili broke away, gasping sharply.

“What is it?” he panted, forehead pressed to Fili’s. “Is it not good?”

Fili gave a broken laugh. “Tell me something,” he said, and oh, Kili had never known Fili’s voice could sound so deep. “Did any of the others affect you this way?”

Kili instinctively knew the answer, but he was not prepared for Fili’s hand sliding over the front of his trousers, fingertips barely curled over the growing bulge of his cock.

“I—” Kili forgot words for a moment, lost in the need to thrust into Fili’s palm. “I don’t think—”

“Did you get hard when they kissed you? Did you tremble and lose your breath when they touched you?” Fili punctuated each word with small bites at Kili’s lips, the heel of his hand rubbing a slow, steady rhythm.

Kili could feel himself starting to grow wet. Fili did not know, and a part of Kili wanted to keep it that way. Wetness was for females, not grown dwarves with lineage to kings. Kili tried to shy away from Fili’s touch, but it was too late; Fili jerked back, eyes wide as he felt the first hints of Kili’s arousal staining the material beneath his hand.

“You—you are close already?” he asked, a mixture of awe and affection in his devastatingly deep voice. “How could you have ever thought—”

“Fee, don’t, please.” Kili lowered his head, shame and gut-wrenching need churning within him.

Fili held his chin and forced Kili’s gaze. “Do not hide from me, ever. Seeing you like this, knowing—all this time—”

Kili shook his head. “I know what I must look like to you, and I wish I knew what was happening to me, why I cannot control—”

“I’ll show you what you look like to me.” The hand holding Kili’s wrist slid down to his palm and guided him lower, until Kili’s fingers were splayed over Fili’s flies.

He was hard.

“But—” Kili swallowed, his mind a hazy red blur. “You’re—”

“I have tried so hard to ignore all the others you’ve—that have caught your eye. I tried to tell myself they didn’t matter, or that eventually you would tire of them.” Fili sounded desperate; the grip on Kili’s hand lessened, as if he were allowing Kili the option to move away.

Dazed, Kili asked, “But why? Why would it worry you so?” Inadvertently, Kili curled his fingers over the warmth pulsing under his hand, causing the most delicious sound to rumble from Fili’s throat.

“I...” Fili bumped his nose against Kili’s, shivering when Kili moved his hand again. “I think it is because...I do not want to lose you.”

Kili laughed breathlessly and dragged his mouth over Fili’s. “You will never lose me! We are brothers, there is no force great enough to take you from me.”

“What if Nali made you feel this way?”

“That’s ridiculous, I could never feel like this with—” Kili’s eyes flew open. He took a moment to really think; the pounding of his heart, the heat curling in his stomach, the overwhelming desire to bury his face in Fili’s neck and never leave. He’d never experienced any of these things with anyone but his brother.

“Fee,” he whispered, “I think I might be in love.”

Fili made another one of those lovely growling sounds. “If it is with anyone other than me, I’ll beat you with your own bow.”

Kili smiled. “Does this mean you love me as well?”

In answer, Fili rolled his hips up into Kili’s palm, then wrestled him down onto the bed, kissing Kili until they could barely breathe.

 

///

 

“I take it you do not need lessons in that regard,” Fili said, palming his spent cock with a lazy grin. They’d made a mess of their clothes, but Kili couldn’t care less, not when Fili was looking at him as if he’d hung the moon himself.

Kili hummed in answer, drowsy and sated as he burrowed tighter against Fili’s side. He pushed his fingers through the come painting Fili’s skin, then leaned down to drag his tongue over the stripes of white. He heard Fili gasp, high and eager, and Kili watched in fascination as Fili’s cock twitched with renewed life.

“Maybe I could teach you a thing or two?” Kili asked. He waggled his eyebrows at his brother, who probably would have rolled his eyes back at him had Kili not taken Fili’s cock into his mouth in one smooth swallow. He went a bit too deep in his eagerness and winced.

Fili smirked, albeit shakily. “Too much?”

Kili sucked harder and wrapped one hand around Fili’s balls. He’d never done anything such as this in his life, but he _had_ pleasured himself enough to know what he liked.

Fili seemed liked it, too.

“Bastard,” he moaned after he’d come in Kili’s waiting mouth. “I’ll hunt down whomever taught you to do that, I swear—”

“Save your bloodlust for another day,” Kili said as he licked Fili’s taste from his lips. “Are you always so jealous after coming twice?”

Fili sat up on his elbows. He looked utterly debauched, and so beautiful Kili could scarcely stand to look at him. “No,” he said quietly, reaching up to thread his hand into Kili’s hair. “This is a first for me.” He pulled Kili into a shallow, soft kiss, his tongue tracing over Kili’s teeth, as if chasing what was left of himself there.

“It is for me as well,” Kili said against Fili’s mouth.

Fili pulled back and gave a most heart-stopping smile. “Good,” he said, and melted into Kili once more.

 

~fin~


End file.
